Sardarji: The Most Popular Man in the World
Bill and Sardarji walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Sardarji goes up to order and the cashier greets him with “Hello Sardarji! How are you? Hey everybody! Sardarji’s here!” Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Sardarji. After everyone has greeted him, Bill and Sardarji sit down and begin to eat.
“Sardarji, you’re pretty popular!” says Bill. “I’m the most popular man in the world,” says Sardarji.
“Now Sardarji,” says Bill, your pretty popular but you’re not the most popular man in the world.”
“Oh yeah,” Sardarji replies “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I’m friends with anybody you can name!”
“That so?” answers Bill, “How about the President of the United States?”
“Let’s go!” says Sardarji.
The two fly to Washington and knock on the front door of the White House. The president answers, “Sardarji! How are you doing? I haven’t seen you in ages!” The three go play a round of golf and then leave.
“That was luck!” says Bill, “Two thousand says your not friends with the Queen of England!”
“Let’s go!” says Sardarji.
The two fly to Buckingham Palace and, sure enough, are greeted by the Queen. ”Hello Sardarji my boy! What have you been up to these days?” They enter the palace and have some tea and leave.
Frustrated, Bill says, “Double or nothing, you don’t know the Pope!”
“Benny!” says Sardarji, “Let’s go!”
When they get to the Vatican, Sardarji instructs Bill to wait outside and Sardarji will come out on the balcony with his arm around the Pope. After a while, a crowd gathers to hear the Pope speak. And as told by Sardarji, when the Pope came out, Sardarji’s arm was wrapped around him. Sardarji looks down from the balcony and see’s Bill passed out on the ground. He rushes down and wakes him up.
“Bill! Bill! Wake up!” Bill opens his eyes and says,
“Sardarji. You’re the most popular man in the world.”
“I told you that, Bill,” says Sardarji, “but you didn’t faint when I knew the President! You didn’t faint when I knew the Queen!”
“Well I was shocked that you knew the Pope,” says Bill. “But I just couldn’t take it when the guy next to me tapped me on the shoulder and said “Who’s that up there with Sardarji?”
Sardar’s Weight LossThe doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would lose 34 kgs. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
“What’s the problem ?” asked the doctor.
I’m 2400 kms from home.
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife ” What’s the matter ?” Replied he “The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else”
Banta Singh, coming back from a late night movie was attacked by a thief. There was a terrific fight and Banta gave a good account for himself. But finally the thief tied him down and went through his pockets. He found only 25 Paisa. The exasperated robber exclaimed “What the hell. Why were you fighting for only 25 Paisa” Banta replied “Oh. You were only after this 25 paise is it ? I thought you were after the Rs.1,000 I have hidden in my left shoe”.
Q: Why did the Sardarji stare at the frozen Orange Juice Can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said ‘concentrate’.
Q: A Sardarji going to London on a plane, how can you steal his window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are
all in the middle row
Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling “86, 86, 86”. He asks the man, “Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling ’86, 86, 86′?” The man says, “Well, I can’t tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and findout.He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, “Okay.” The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling “87, 87, 87″…
Sardar Ji In Indo-Pak WarOnce in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara hideout was crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the defence secrets.
The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a Maachar dani ! (mosquito net). He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The pakistanis run off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal.
His freinds ask him “Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?” Hari Singh replies “Maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi ?
In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gyani Singh (No assumptions please !) joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they’ve lost the war but out of the bushes erupts Gyani Singh wearning nothing he tries to do shoo away the pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot.
In the hospital his friends tell him “Aare yaar, therre bap mein tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar daani pehin key gaya tha, aur tu nanga chala gaya” Gyani Singh replies “Arrey yaar main tho odomos laga key gaya tha” !
Are You Relaxing ?One Sardar was enjoying sun on a beach in UK. A lady came and asked him, “Are you relaxing?”
Sardar answered, “No I am Banta Singh.”
Another guy came and asked the same question. Sardar answered “No no me! Banta Singh.” Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the beach.
He went and asked him, “Are you relaxing?” The other Sardar was much educated and answered “Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said, “Idiot, sab tere ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu yahaan aaram kar raha hai.”