Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh’s
Place in a Brand New – Red Ferarri.
Banta: Wow Santa, What a car!
Where did you get it from ?
Santa: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady
came in this car and asked me –
“want a ride Mr. Singh ?”
I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in
woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me
“Mr Singh. take anything”
Banta is quite excited and asks
“What did you do Santa?”
Santa: I took the car.
Banta: good show – you wouldn’t have fit into her
clothes
Three convicts escaped from prison. One was a Madrasi, one a Gujarati,
and one a Sardar. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn
where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up,
they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for
camouflage.
About an hour later the Prison Warden and his assistant came into the barn.
The warden told his assistant to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got
up there the warden asked him what he saw and the assistant yelled back,
“Just three gunnysacks.”
The warden told him to find out what was in them, so the assistant kicked the
first sack, which had the Madrasi in it. He went, “Bow-wow”, so the assistant
told the warden there was a dog in it.
Then he kicked the sack with the Gujarati in it. He went, “Meow”, so
the assistant told the warden there was a cat in it.
Then he kicked the one with the Sardar in it, and there was no sound at
all. So he kicked it again, and finally the Sardar said, “Potatoes”.
Santa Singh is Flying from Moscow to Delhi. To his surprise, sitting right beside him is Gary Kasporov, the world Chess Champion. Santa has always been in awe of Chess players, and immediately starts up a conversation with Gary about the Nuances of the Game etc. Gary says ... "How would You like to Play me for $ 500/ US"? Santa: "But you're too damn good". Gary: "I'll play left handed". Santa cant resist the bet and accepts. Kasparov, Check Mates our Sardar in 8 Moves ....... Santa is still scratching his head, as he leaves the airplane. Upon Reaching Amritsar, Santa tells Banta about the game he had with Kasparov. Banta: "Tu bhi pura buddhu hai Santa". (You're an absolute fool Santa) Santa: "kyon" (why)? Banta: "Abe chooteye ........ Gary Kasparov Khabbu hai". (You idiot, Gary Kasparov IS a lefty, no wonder he beat you left handed).
A Rajastani, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit
a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While
standing in the middle of the rail tracks one day, he hears this
whistle — Whooee da Whoee! — but doesn’t know what it is.
Predictably, he’s hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It was
only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal
injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he’s at his friend’s house
attending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears
the teakettle whistling. He grabs a iron rod from the nearby shelf
and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable
lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen,
sees what’s happened and asks the desert man, “Why did you ruin my good
tea kettle?”
The desert man replies, “Man, you gotta kill these things when they’re
small.”