New Jokes - Teacher and Student

Teacher: Why are you late? Ramu: Because of the sign. Teacher: What sign? Ramu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Teacher: Ramu, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? Ramu: You told me to do it without using tables!
Teacher: Ramu, how do you spell "crocodile"? Ramu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" Teacher: No, that's wrong Ramu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? Ramu: "HIJKLMNO"!! Teacher: What are you talking about? Ramu: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!

Teacher: Ramu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Ramu: Me!
Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirty? Ramu: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.
Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? Ramu: Don't bite any.
Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with " I ". Ramu: I is... Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, "I am." Ramu: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" Ramu: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" Ramu: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Ramu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would
I be showing? Ramu: Brotherly love.
Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Ramu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Ramu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? Ramu: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Ramu: A teacher
Ramu: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?" Shamu: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".
Ramu: My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?" Ramu: "The moon". Teacher: "Why?" Ramu: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the
day time when we don't need it".